Short Is Not A Cut Above

A Singaporean journalist was booted out of the Oscars press room early this week for not wearing a long evening dress to the event. If only the folks at the Oscars knew: she was just showing them a typical Singaporean

 

By Mao Shan Wang

That poor girl. She didn’t know, perhaps. Or, maybe she knew but couldn’t be bothered. Formal attire at the Academy Awards is standard. She should have asked me and I would have told her to stick to baju kurong—they’ll definitely let her in. Instead, she chose—and, gosh, felt fabulous—in “knee-length shimmery dress, killer heels and formal blazer”, a combination that, as it appears to me, look right on an auditor attending her company’s D&D, but at the Oscars, could be something belonging to Elisa Esposito on her day off, stumbling onto the red carpet by mistake, minus her love interest, the humanoid amphibian.

That she had survived the kick-out and was keen to tell all about it showed that many Singaporean girls are not embarrassed by their lack of sense of occasion. This is typical of the young today: I am in my best dress—that’s good enough. And it shimmers! That’s evening enough. I pair it with a “formal” jacket! That’s grand enough. And don’t forget my killer heels! They’re high enough!

Just as not all that glitters is gold, all that shimmers is not necessarily evening wear. Short and shimmery, less so, unless you’re headed to 1-Altitude. And just because it’s a jacket—even a double-breasted one—does not mean it’s formal. A blazer, especially in Prince of Wales check (or similar), is definitely not part of a formal ensemble. As for those killer heels, I am sorry to say, the more killer they are, the more they will spell death to red carpet elegance. Girl, this wasn’t the night your boyfriend took you to his mother’s birthday party at a hotel coffee house.

And feeling sorry for yourself is definitely not Night-at-the-Oscars-smart. Even Ryan Seacrest wore a tux! Who cares if you were “nursing jet leg”? Or, that you would leave the day after? Those invitees arriving from London were probably jet-lagged too, and would scoot off just as quickly. It is convenient to blame lack of style on lack of sleep. If you ignore the dress code, you will look like you missed the memo, or the girl who turned up as Olaf when everyone else receiving the right invite came as Elsa.

I don’t know why so many women can’t be bothered with dress codes or think them a bother. Journalists are especially guilty, ST journalists in particular. It’s as if they’re saying, “We’re here to report the news, not to look nice.” And dressing appropriately would impede on their ability to do their job. Or, diminish their credibility. Maybe journalists won’t look nice because no one wants to look like Sumiko Tan? Maybe? As a friend pointed out to me, I have to understand that there are many people who see nothing wrong with attending a stated ‘gala’ event in T-shirt and jeans—they simply don’t care. Even when attending the Oscars in LA, apathy, like the passport, can’t be left at home.

Assuming you “made the mistake of not paying attention” to the “formal attire policy that everybody needs to adhere to at the Oscars”. It’s tempting to ask: Isn’t paying attention part of your job? And, let me add, have you never watched Red Carpet Live? Even the ushers are in evening wear. Did you not, for one moment, desire to not look like you just fell from the bleachers? Those there don’t wear a gown. Did you not know this isn’t the same as the Star Awards?

I have never quite understood why dressing appropriately is so difficult for some women. Is there no pleasure in donning a dress less ordinary? Are special occasions not so special anymore? Nor do I understand why throwing a jacket—any jacket—over the shoulder like a shrug can save them from a thousand scenes. For goodness’ sake, it’s not the le smoking and you’re not posing for Helmut Newton! Kid yourself not. It’s time to graduate from the campus chic (yes, oxymoron!) approach to fashion; it’s time to step up from killer heels that are already a huge misstep. Dress codes are imposed for a reason. Flouting them will not make you a cool fashion rebel; it’ll get you kicked out. This was the Oscars; this wasn’t your sister’s wedding.